Naomy's memoir

So, you started this series months ago on Instagram, but this morning, something shifted. You woke up feeling that this space, your blog, needed you. Blogging has always been your first love; you can never outgrow it. So here you are, dusting off the keyboard, ready to spill. Let’s talk about this season of your life: the season where you decided to add “Dr.” to your name. But first, a master’s degree. You chose a private university in Nigeria, paid the fees yourself—because, girl, at this point, you are nobody’s mate. You are even the first in your immediate family to attempt a Masters degree, nobody should play with you. Then came the reality: seminars, literary texts to critique, and endless papers. And you paused. “Is this doctorate dream even possible like this?” But you never start what you can’t finish. So you keep going. First semester exams? Done. It wasn’t easy—juggling exams, your writing job, and a 9-5 almost took you out, but you’re still standing. Now, let’s get into...

It’s about an hour and some minutes to my birthday anniversary as I write this post. Well, I know it’s been a while I posted anything here, but then the whole birthday euphoria brought me here today. Don’t worry, I’ll start a new series soon. The past one year of my life has been awesome. So many testimonies and I’ll share some; 1. I had massive career advancement this past year. 2. Something my family had been praying about for years finally happened this year. (Details would come when I’m sharing my complete success story. 😉) 3. I published my first book this year. This news is hoooogeee. Here is the link to buy, if you haven’t;  https://selar.co/fqt7 Daddy God did many things, but let me leave it there. Now, to the next thing I want to discuss, I’m still celebrating this birthday as a single sister. Ehn? What’s the big deal? Why are you looking at me like I’m strange? Let me now even tell you the interesting part, next year birthday, I shall not be single. You don’t believe me?...

Why do People Keep Journals? Well, I’ll speak for myself. Journaling for me is about penning down God-given ideas, interesting thoughts that I might want to explore later. I also like to keep good memories, so I write about persons I have met that have contributed to my life or interesting events, places I’ve been to. In all, journaling helps me see that God has a track record of doing good and good only. I started journaling when I was maybe 12 or 13 years old. I remember vividly the events that happened. My mom had just scolded me (you know African Mother’s kinda scold, slap would have landed on your face before you say ‘Jack Robinson’) and I seriously felt like I was being punished unjustly. Unfortunately, I could not fight for my ‘right’, so I took a notepad and just expressed myself. I wrote about how I would one day leave and not return, then they would all miss me in the house and wish they treated me better. Such childish illusions!😂 Here are Some Advantages of Journaling ...

  “Hello, beautiful sister, welcome to church. This must be your first time, I have never seen your face before.” A pretty young lady said to me, all in one breath with a very large and infectious smile on her face. “Hi, I replied smiling back “I attended your Christmas service, but this is my first Sunday service.” “Oh! Interesting”. Idehen was such a vibrant young woman and she seemed so full of life that I couldn’t help but envy her. That was how a friendship that was to alter the course of my life began. Idehen, a young lady of 25 had just completed her Masters degree in Japan. She moved back to Nigeria a month before we met. She came to see me the following week and mehn! She was so easy to talk to. I shared all my ‘dark secrets’ with her without fear.  Before she left, she gave me a book titled “The Prodigal Father” authored by a certain Rev. Craig Omorotionmwan. I was confused, I had heard of the prodigal son, but never of the prodigal father but Idehen promised that it...

"Ebeire, I know that you do drugs, no matter how much you try to hide it from me." I just kept staring at mama with absolutely no words to reply. The look in her eyes was really serious. "I will tell you a story. The story is about your birth, the circumstances surrounding your birth." I suddenly felt uncomfortable sitting on the wooden joko. Whatever   mama was going to say must be serious. "I was pregnant six times before your pregnancy, they all ended up as miscarriages. When the seventh pregnancy finally stayed, the scan confirmed I was going to have twins, beautiful girls. Unfortunately, five months into the pregnancy, your twin sister died in my womb and started to decay." "What!" I was shocked, no one has ever mentioned this to me. She continued calmly as if she had not been interrupted; "The doctor said they had to carry out an operation to take out both babies so that my health would not be affected. I told the doctor th...

Wawu! It's a new year already and things are moving so fast. I have been feeling very weak since December last year. I sleep tired and wake up even more tired. Yeah! You don't have to tell me, I should visit the hospital but where's the money? Hospital bills are something else you know. I started this new church in my neighbourhood. I am really trying to make things work this year. I feel a lot of guilt. I have been wasting my years. I'm aging so fast. The pastor of the church likes to make a statement; " God is not angry with you. " I'm not sure I believe that. God must detest me. Some people were pushed by the experiences of life and they became monsters. My case is different, my parents brought me up well. Ebiere choose this path, Ebiere groomed a monster, Ebiere has begun to suffer the consequences. I have only attended two services in the strange church that believes God isn't angry. I love how they welcomed me on the first day, so I...

"Mummy, it's been months since you came to see us. Grandma said you took ill. Are you fine now?" My daughter's tiny voice enquired over the phone. It took a while before I replied, as I didn't even know what to say. "I am fine Imade dear. Sorry that I have not visited. I will come as soon as I can." This scar has to heal up before I visit them. "Okay, bye mum. Grandmum must not catch me using her phone." "Bye." I smiled as I hung up. The act itself (smiling) was painful as I had almost forgotten how to smile. Poor child! She deserved a better mum, not an irresponsible one like me.  Ebiere, what happened to you? Why did you lose yourself? What happened to the church girl? What happened to the dreams? Why did you let papa and mama down? Will you ever make it out of this depth of chaos? Nonye had apologised to me the day after the quarrel but the words still sting. People say the truth hurts, I guess that's it. I need to ...

 The thing about life is that just when you think your life is all figured out, something comes out of the blues and hits you hard and you almost get crushed. Just when I was beginning to enjoy the long hours of working at M&N pharmaceutical company, my boss brought his cousin from the village to take my place. Where does that leave me? My initial state. Jobless! Time flies! It was 6 months ago when I got the job and I was thinking God was finally beginning to like me, now I have to start hunting for a new job. Since the son-of-a-bitch handed that stupid letter to me saying I have been relieved of my duties, I have been taking a high dosage of dope. Reality sucks! Who wouldn't want to escape? I mean no matter how hard you try to fix things, you end up where you started. Nonye broke up with her boyfriend last month, so I moved back into her house after promising to contribute to the house rent. The rent would soon be due, how am I to keep my promise without a job? ...

"Hello Ebiere, Imade is very sick. You need to come over." Mama sounded hysterical on the phone like she has been crying. "I am on my way to Koku General Hospital, please come fast." This definitely had to be the devil. Not today for Christ's sake. Not on the day I had to resume at my new workplace. "Mama, I just got this job and I am to resume today, so I can't come now. I'll be there as soon as I close." Mama did not bother to hide her disapproval. "Your daughter is very sick and all you can think of is a job that you and I know you will only keep for two weeks. Sometimes, I wonder if they didn't switch my daughter with someone else at the hospital. You are nothing like me." She hung up immediately after saying those words. Mama's words hit me hard as I dressed up for work. It hurt so much because she was right. I couldn't keep a job and I was nothing like her. I need this job and Mama knows how much I need t...

I could not believe what was happening. "Are you asking me to move out of your house? I asked Nonye looking dismayed. Nonye has been my best friend for years now. I first met her when I was working in a factory as a production manager, she was the admin officer.  " I am so sorry Ebiere, but my boyfriend has some issues with his apartment and he would be moving In next week. This was really happening. I have just been kicked out by my best friend. Where would I go to? Moving back to mama's house was not an option. Well, thank God she even gave me one week to figure things out. The next morning, I woke up early and had my bath. I dressed up quickly in one of my nicest outfits, a smart-looking shirt dress, applied nude lipstick, and styled my hair nicely. When I finished, I looked into the mirror and loved how smart I looked. I picked up my dusty files and sorted out some documents. In no time, I was out of the house in search of a job. First, I went to the cyber cafe to pho...

"Mama, I did not come home this time to fight. I came to tell you something important. I am pregnant." Yes, I finally said the words. Mama looked like she would pass out. Her face was very white. I was so scared. What if she drops dead? I had aborted two pregnancies before this one. Akhere wanted me to keep the pregnancy against my wish. Mama has always been against premarital sex and having children out of wedlock. I knew she would disapprove. When I moved out, I told mama that I was staying with a female friend whose place was not far from my workplace to beat Lagos traffic. She did not know her daughter was living with a man. "Ebiere, you are pregnant? For who? Ah! Ebiere. You have brought shame to me. What will church people say? Your father was a church elder before he died, now look at how his daughter turned out. Ebiere why? Ebiereeeeeeee!." Mama was crying hysterically.  "Mama, I am so sorry, I did not mean to bring shame to your name. Since...

1. They say destiny is in your hands, what about those whose hands have been amputated? 2. I think more than I talk. I write more than I talk. 3. Creative stories never leave people's memories. How and why do you tell your story? 4. Not long from now, they will hear your story, so make sure you tell it with grace. 5. On some days, prayer seems useless, but I pray anyway. God's word seems hopeless, but I hope anyway. A miracle seems impossible, but I believe anyway. Faith over feelings! 6. Stumble on my writings, read. Tell me what you think, for my words are a reflection of myself. 7. When I am gone past this phase, I will wave goodbye without even looking back. 8. At my age, I still keep a journal. Call me old-fashioned. I call it owning and preserving my story. 9. When I am quiet, I am not quiet. There's usually an ongoing discussion in my head. 10. Wear black lipstick instead of red, wear the boot instead of heels, wear the hat instead of some fancy scarf. Al...

"Ebiere, I love you but I can't do this anymore. You need to face this drug addiction issue. You are losing yourself." Akhere was the only man I had ever really loved. He is Imade's father. I met him on the bus on my way home after I had completed my NYSC scheme. Akhere was quite influential and had used his influence in getting me a job as the production manager of a massive soap factory. We moved in together a year after we met and two years later, my baby girl came. The problem started after Imade was born. No one prepared me for the depression that comes after childbirth. I hated my body and soon, I started taking more doses. All I wanted was to be in a perfect world and only my dope could take me there. Although Akhere used to smoke cigarettes, he never did dope and he was unhappy with the way I was ignoring our beautiful baby. When he started complaining, I tried church. Maybe God would see that in my heart I hated dope and I tried my best but I just...

'Good afternoon Sir, you said wanted to see me?' 'Yes, Ebiere welcome. Please sit.' Mr. Waziri, my course adviser was a fatherly figure and one of the most respected lecturers in the Department of chemistry. 'Your last semester result was poor. This is unlike you Ebiere. What I expect is for you to put all your efforts into maintaining your second class upper result, not dealing with a slack hand in final year.' He said staring sternly at me. After a long pause, he continued 'Is there any problem? Do you have something bothering you? You know you can talk to me.' 'There is no problem sir, I'll do better this semester.' I replied in a tiny voice. 'Please do. You are one of my best student, don't disappoint me. Remember that this is your last semester.' I left Mr. Waziri's office and decided not to visit Chuka or take dope ever again. I tried and succeeded for two weeks, until the devastating news of papa's death...

I love Imade very much and I need to spend more time with her, but I keep messing things up. Imade is my 6 years old daughter who lives with my mum. Mama is tired of the kind of life I am living and we fight regularly. I cannot forget the last fight we had, she said hurtful things to me. 'You are a disgrace Ebiere, I wish I was the one dead instead of your father, that way I won't be seeing all these.' I wanted some more money from Mama, after the N20,000 I stole from her a month ago. 'Things are quite hard for me now Mama, but I will pay back. I have this business I want to invest in.'  I explained, but Mama wasn't buying it this time. My mother is a church woman and she is amazing, we just never get along well. She hates the life I live. I hate my life too, but I can't help myself so I live it anyway. Don't even start to blame mama for the way I turned out. Mama brought me up in the ways of the Lord, but I wanted to explore other ways. Papa...

It all began with a small headache, I was in class when it started. Well, it was not unusual as I had not had anything to eat since morning and it was almost 4pm already. The first thing I did when I got to the hostel was to eat the food I bought from Buka 22. The food did not taste nice. For someone who usually is selective when it comes to food, I did not mind the taste. I just needed a little food in my stomach so I could use the pain killers I got from the pharmacy earlier. I slept off immediately after taking the drugs. When I woke up at bout 7:30pm, the headache had intensified. Two weeks later, I was at the school clinic complaining about the headache that just won't leave. The doctor, a nice looking young man that would have been perfect if not for two broken teeth in his mouth wrote some medical jargons on paper and asked me to take it to the pharmacy. The pharmacist gave me some horrible looking drugs that I had to force myself to take. When the headache still...

It's that time of the year again when I come to the realization of my transition from a girl into a woman.( Even the word 'transition' sounds old). No matter how hard I try to adjust my head to the fact that I am a grown woman now, my head won't agree I am just as Naomy as I was some 10 years ago.  Birthdays come with mixed feelings. You just love the attention, gifts and the euphoria of the moment but somewhere in your head, you are thinking; "No kidding girl you're getting old." Confession time! So here are somethings I thought I would have done or would be at this age. 1. I thought I would have a beach house already. Yes! You heard me right. 😶 A glass house on a beach in Paris probably with Alexa, my virtual assistant playing me cool songs every morning as I wake up to the water view.  Anyway, at least I sometimes wake up to see pools of water caused by rain fall at night. My dear, water is water whether beach water or rain water. 2. I thought I would ...

Hi guys! It’s  been a while I posted anything here. Well, I have been so caught up with work and life that I almost abandoned my first love, writing. I'm back now and I am going to be dropping a lot of gist here. Today, I want us to examine a crucial topic which is; the difference between staying alone and Isolation. This is one sensitive topic. Recently a lot has been happening in my life and at a point I felt overwhelmed. I couldn't just explain how I was feeling, I wanted to escape but where to? And the worst thing was that I wanted to talk but at the same time, I wanted to fight through alone (some of us are used to facing life alone). Well, I finally picked my diary and poured out all the pent up emotions through writing. This period I was quite distance from everyone and all I wanted was to just stay alone, but at the same time, I realized I was isolating myself. Guys! What do you think? I know that wanting to be alone is healthy. No matter how surrounded you are...

I am the third child in a family of six, which includes father and mother. From an early age, I have always love to do things differently. I love to question certain norms and dress in a weird manner, but the environment surrounding my childhood suppressed the fashionista in me. I grew up in a religious family, a family where prayer was majorly targeted at enemies. My father became a Christian a few years after I was born. So I grew up learning things I was to unlearn in later years.  My family was not a rich one, so I began to dream from an early age  how to become a rich influential woman. I was very serious about becoming great that I didn't really have time for boys.  In fact, I saw boys as distractions, so my brain and my heart made an agreement to stay away from boys until after higher education. I always loved TV presenters because of their accent and mode of dressing. I loved the media and would spend hours acting like a television character.  Growing ...

You fought and fought You fought the pain But then! You had to go. Nicolas! The short black man The poet The Africanist Death! Don't for a second think you have won You have only eased Nicholas's pain You have only relieved his sufferings. I already miss your poems I really wanted to see more of "The Diary of a Short Black Man" I wanted to see your works published. A great writer has passed on A voice for this nation is silenced A friend has taken his rest Nicolas! The short black poet.