EBIERE 4

"Ebiere, I love you but I can't do this anymore. You need to face this drug addiction issue. You are losing yourself."

Akhere was the only man I had ever really loved. He is Imade's father. I met him on the bus on my way home after I had completed my NYSC scheme. Akhere was quite influential and had used his influence in getting me a job as the production manager of a massive soap factory. We moved in together a year after we met and two years later, my baby girl came.

The problem started after Imade was born. No one prepared me for the depression that comes after childbirth. I hated my body and soon, I started taking more doses. All I wanted was to be in a perfect world and only my dope could take me there. Although Akhere used to smoke cigarettes, he never did dope and he was unhappy with the way I was ignoring our beautiful baby.

When he started complaining, I tried church. Maybe God would see that in my heart I hated dope and I tried my best but I just could not stop. Unfortunately, I couldn't do church. It just wasn't a place for my likes, so I stopped.

One day, when Imade was 6 months old, I went to the hospital and came back to an empty apartment. All the furniture and other valuables were gone with Akhere. I found his note;

"Ebiere, I love you but I can't do this anymore. You need to face this drug addiction issue. You are losing yourself.

It dawned on me that I was all by myself in a cruel world with an innocent baby to fend for.

That was 6 years ago. Did I deal with the drug addiction? I tried but sank deeper and deeper. I have not seen or heard from Akhere since that day. I used to be very angry with him, but I am not anymore. I am the problem not him.

Since Akhere, all my relationships with the opposite sex have been solely for the sex and sometimes money. Ebiere does not do love anymore. Love almost crushed me once.

Look at me, I have slowly and unconsciously become a hard woman. I don't even know this woman anymore.