EBIERE 10

Wawu! It's a new year already and things are moving so fast. I have been feeling very weak since December last year. I sleep tired and wake up even more tired. Yeah! You don't have to tell me, I should visit the hospital but where's the money? Hospital bills are something else you know.

I started this new church in my neighbourhood. I am really trying to make things work this year. I feel a lot of guilt. I have been wasting my years. I'm aging so fast. The pastor of the church likes to make a statement; "God is not angry with you." I'm not sure I believe that. God must detest me. Some people were pushed by the experiences of life and they became monsters. My case is different, my parents brought me up well. Ebiere choose this path, Ebiere groomed a monster, Ebiere has begun to suffer the consequences.

I have only attended two services in the strange church that believes God isn't angry. I love how they welcomed me on the first day, so I'll try my best to attend church every Sunday this year. Anything to get on God's good books again. Nonye thinks I should see a shrink. What good does telling your problems to a stranger do? That whole thing is for Oyinbo. 

"What are you staring at?" Nonye startled me. "Your mum wants you to call her, she said she can't reach your line." 

"Yeah, My phone is faulty."

"Take mine and call her with it."

I wish Nonye would back off, I didn't want to talk to Mama, it would only increase my guilt. 

When I finally called Mama, she didn't sound right. She begged to come see her, and I promised I would but first, I need to get some money to get dope. Mehn! I need to take some right now, I'll lose my mind if I don't. 

I already owe Nonye a lot of money. I've got to get on the street and hustle. See why God can never be happy with me?

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