EBIERE 9

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"Mummy, it's been months since you came to see us. Grandma said you took ill. Are you fine now?" My daughter's tiny voice enquired over the phone. It took a while before I replied, as I didn't even know what to say. "I am fine Imade dear. Sorry that I have not visited. I will come as soon as I can." This scar has to heal up before I visit them.
"Okay, bye mum. Grandmum must not catch me using her phone."
"Bye." I smiled as I hung up. The act itself (smiling) was painful as I had almost forgotten how to smile. Poor child! She deserved a better mum, not an irresponsible one like me. 

Ebiere, what happened to you? Why did you lose yourself? What happened to the church girl? What happened to the dreams? Why did you let papa and mama down? Will you ever make it out of this depth of chaos?

Nonye had apologised to me the day after the quarrel but the words still sting. People say the truth hurts, I guess that's it.

I need to make things work. I paced around the room for a while before picking up my journal. I began scribbling my goals down. A message popped into my phone, I finally got a job with a secondary school as a secretary. I screamed and danced for a while before I went back to writing in my journal.

Goals

1. Pay Imade school fees for this session (take this burden off mama's shoulder.)

2. Pay 50% of the house rent (Put yourself in Nonye's shoes, how would you feel?)

3. Start seeing a counselor (admit it to yourself, you need help!)

4. Start church again (God might hear you this time)

5. Learn a new skill (Maybe how to bake.)

Photo credit: Pinterest

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