Naomy's memoir

  “Hello, beautiful sister, welcome to church. This must be your first time, I have never seen your face before.” A pretty young lady said to me, all in one breath with a very large and infectious smile on her face. “Hi, I replied smiling back “I attended your Christmas service, but this is my first Sunday service.” “Oh! Interesting”. Idehen was such a vibrant young woman and she seemed so full of life that I couldn’t help but envy her. That was how a friendship that was to alter the course of my life began. Idehen, a young lady of 25 had just completed her Masters degree in Japan. She moved back to Nigeria a month before we met. She came to see me the following week and mehn! She was so easy to talk to. I shared all my ‘dark secrets’ with her without fear.  Before she left, she gave me a book titled “The Prodigal Father” authored by a certain Rev. Craig Omorotionmwan. I was confused, I had heard of the prodigal son, but never of the prodigal father but Idehen promised that it...

"Ebeire, I know that you do drugs, no matter how much you try to hide it from me." I just kept staring at mama with absolutely no words to reply. The look in her eyes was really serious. "I will tell you a story. The story is about your birth, the circumstances surrounding your birth." I suddenly felt uncomfortable sitting on the wooden joko. Whatever   mama was going to say must be serious. "I was pregnant six times before your pregnancy, they all ended up as miscarriages. When the seventh pregnancy finally stayed, the scan confirmed I was going to have twins, beautiful girls. Unfortunately, five months into the pregnancy, your twin sister died in my womb and started to decay." "What!" I was shocked, no one has ever mentioned this to me. She continued calmly as if she had not been interrupted; "The doctor said they had to carry out an operation to take out both babies so that my health would not be affected. I told the doctor th...

Wawu! It's a new year already and things are moving so fast. I have been feeling very weak since December last year. I sleep tired and wake up even more tired. Yeah! You don't have to tell me, I should visit the hospital but where's the money? Hospital bills are something else you know. I started this new church in my neighbourhood. I am really trying to make things work this year. I feel a lot of guilt. I have been wasting my years. I'm aging so fast. The pastor of the church likes to make a statement; " God is not angry with you. " I'm not sure I believe that. God must detest me. Some people were pushed by the experiences of life and they became monsters. My case is different, my parents brought me up well. Ebiere choose this path, Ebiere groomed a monster, Ebiere has begun to suffer the consequences. I have only attended two services in the strange church that believes God isn't angry. I love how they welcomed me on the first day, so I...

"Mummy, it's been months since you came to see us. Grandma said you took ill. Are you fine now?" My daughter's tiny voice enquired over the phone. It took a while before I replied, as I didn't even know what to say. "I am fine Imade dear. Sorry that I have not visited. I will come as soon as I can." This scar has to heal up before I visit them. "Okay, bye mum. Grandmum must not catch me using her phone." "Bye." I smiled as I hung up. The act itself (smiling) was painful as I had almost forgotten how to smile. Poor child! She deserved a better mum, not an irresponsible one like me.  Ebiere, what happened to you? Why did you lose yourself? What happened to the church girl? What happened to the dreams? Why did you let papa and mama down? Will you ever make it out of this depth of chaos? Nonye had apologised to me the day after the quarrel but the words still sting. People say the truth hurts, I guess that's it. I need to ...

 The thing about life is that just when you think your life is all figured out, something comes out of the blues and hits you hard and you almost get crushed. Just when I was beginning to enjoy the long hours of working at M&N pharmaceutical company, my boss brought his cousin from the village to take my place. Where does that leave me? My initial state. Jobless! Time flies! It was 6 months ago when I got the job and I was thinking God was finally beginning to like me, now I have to start hunting for a new job. Since the son-of-a-bitch handed that stupid letter to me saying I have been relieved of my duties, I have been taking a high dosage of dope. Reality sucks! Who wouldn't want to escape? I mean no matter how hard you try to fix things, you end up where you started. Nonye broke up with her boyfriend last month, so I moved back into her house after promising to contribute to the house rent. The rent would soon be due, how am I to keep my promise without a job? ...

"Hello Ebiere, Imade is very sick. You need to come over." Mama sounded hysterical on the phone like she has been crying. "I am on my way to Koku General Hospital, please come fast." This definitely had to be the devil. Not today for Christ's sake. Not on the day I had to resume at my new workplace. "Mama, I just got this job and I am to resume today, so I can't come now. I'll be there as soon as I close." Mama did not bother to hide her disapproval. "Your daughter is very sick and all you can think of is a job that you and I know you will only keep for two weeks. Sometimes, I wonder if they didn't switch my daughter with someone else at the hospital. You are nothing like me." She hung up immediately after saying those words. Mama's words hit me hard as I dressed up for work. It hurt so much because she was right. I couldn't keep a job and I was nothing like her. I need this job and Mama knows how much I need t...

I could not believe what was happening. "Are you asking me to move out of your house? I asked Nonye looking dismayed. Nonye has been my best friend for years now. I first met her when I was working in a factory as a production manager, she was the admin officer.  " I am so sorry Ebiere, but my boyfriend has some issues with his apartment and he would be moving In next week. This was really happening. I have just been kicked out by my best friend. Where would I go to? Moving back to mama's house was not an option. Well, thank God she even gave me one week to figure things out. The next morning, I woke up early and had my bath. I dressed up quickly in one of my nicest outfits, a smart-looking shirt dress, applied nude lipstick, and styled my hair nicely. When I finished, I looked into the mirror and loved how smart I looked. I picked up my dusty files and sorted out some documents. In no time, I was out of the house in search of a job. First, I went to the cyber cafe to pho...

"Mama, I did not come home this time to fight. I came to tell you something important. I am pregnant." Yes, I finally said the words. Mama looked like she would pass out. Her face was very white. I was so scared. What if she drops dead? I had aborted two pregnancies before this one. Akhere wanted me to keep the pregnancy against my wish. Mama has always been against premarital sex and having children out of wedlock. I knew she would disapprove. When I moved out, I told mama that I was staying with a female friend whose place was not far from my workplace to beat Lagos traffic. She did not know her daughter was living with a man. "Ebiere, you are pregnant? For who? Ah! Ebiere. You have brought shame to me. What will church people say? Your father was a church elder before he died, now look at how his daughter turned out. Ebiere why? Ebiereeeeeeee!." Mama was crying hysterically.  "Mama, I am so sorry, I did not mean to bring shame to your name. Since...

1. They say destiny is in your hands, what about those whose hands have been amputated? 2. I think more than I talk. I write more than I talk. 3. Creative stories never leave people's memories. How and why do you tell your story? 4. Not long from now, they will hear your story, so make sure you tell it with grace. 5. On some days, prayer seems useless, but I pray anyway. God's word seems hopeless, but I hope anyway. A miracle seems impossible, but I believe anyway. Faith over feelings! 6. Stumble on my writings, read. Tell me what you think, for my words are a reflection of myself. 7. When I am gone past this phase, I will wave goodbye without even looking back. 8. At my age, I still keep a journal. Call me old-fashioned. I call it owning and preserving my story. 9. When I am quiet, I am not quiet. There's usually an ongoing discussion in my head. 10. Wear black lipstick instead of red, wear the boot instead of heels, wear the hat instead of some fancy scarf. Al...

"Ebiere, I love you but I can't do this anymore. You need to face this drug addiction issue. You are losing yourself." Akhere was the only man I had ever really loved. He is Imade's father. I met him on the bus on my way home after I had completed my NYSC scheme. Akhere was quite influential and had used his influence in getting me a job as the production manager of a massive soap factory. We moved in together a year after we met and two years later, my baby girl came. The problem started after Imade was born. No one prepared me for the depression that comes after childbirth. I hated my body and soon, I started taking more doses. All I wanted was to be in a perfect world and only my dope could take me there. Although Akhere used to smoke cigarettes, he never did dope and he was unhappy with the way I was ignoring our beautiful baby. When he started complaining, I tried church. Maybe God would see that in my heart I hated dope and I tried my best but I just...

'Good afternoon Sir, you said wanted to see me?' 'Yes, Ebiere welcome. Please sit.' Mr. Waziri, my course adviser was a fatherly figure and one of the most respected lecturers in the Department of chemistry. 'Your last semester result was poor. This is unlike you Ebiere. What I expect is for you to put all your efforts into maintaining your second class upper result, not dealing with a slack hand in final year.' He said staring sternly at me. After a long pause, he continued 'Is there any problem? Do you have something bothering you? You know you can talk to me.' 'There is no problem sir, I'll do better this semester.' I replied in a tiny voice. 'Please do. You are one of my best student, don't disappoint me. Remember that this is your last semester.' I left Mr. Waziri's office and decided not to visit Chuka or take dope ever again. I tried and succeeded for two weeks, until the devastating news of papa's death...

I love Imade very much and I need to spend more time with her, but I keep messing things up. Imade is my 6 years old daughter who lives with my mum. Mama is tired of the kind of life I am living and we fight regularly. I cannot forget the last fight we had, she said hurtful things to me. 'You are a disgrace Ebiere, I wish I was the one dead instead of your father, that way I won't be seeing all these.' I wanted some more money from Mama, after the N20,000 I stole from her a month ago. 'Things are quite hard for me now Mama, but I will pay back. I have this business I want to invest in.'  I explained, but Mama wasn't buying it this time. My mother is a church woman and she is amazing, we just never get along well. She hates the life I live. I hate my life too, but I can't help myself so I live it anyway. Don't even start to blame mama for the way I turned out. Mama brought me up in the ways of the Lord, but I wanted to explore other ways. Papa...

It all began with a small headache, I was in class when it started. Well, it was not unusual as I had not had anything to eat since morning and it was almost 4pm already. The first thing I did when I got to the hostel was to eat the food I bought from Buka 22. The food did not taste nice. For someone who usually is selective when it comes to food, I did not mind the taste. I just needed a little food in my stomach so I could use the pain killers I got from the pharmacy earlier. I slept off immediately after taking the drugs. When I woke up at bout 7:30pm, the headache had intensified. Two weeks later, I was at the school clinic complaining about the headache that just won't leave. The doctor, a nice looking young man that would have been perfect if not for two broken teeth in his mouth wrote some medical jargons on paper and asked me to take it to the pharmacy. The pharmacist gave me some horrible looking drugs that I had to force myself to take. When the headache still...