Naomy's memoir

"Mummy, it's been months since you came to see us. Grandma said you took ill. Are you fine now?" My daughter's tiny voice enquired over the phone. It took a while before I replied, as I didn't even know what to say. "I am fine Imade dear. Sorry that I have not visited. I will come as soon as I can." This scar has to heal up before I visit them. "Okay, bye mum. Grandmum must not catch me using her phone." "Bye." I smiled as I hung up. The act itself (smiling) was painful as I had almost forgotten how to smile. Poor child! She deserved a better mum, not an irresponsible one like me.  Ebiere, what happened to you? Why did you lose yourself? What happened to the church girl? What happened to the dreams? Why did you let papa and mama down? Will you ever make it out of this depth of chaos? Nonye had apologised to me the day after the quarrel but the words still sting. People say the truth hurts, I guess that's it. I need to ...

 The thing about life is that just when you think your life is all figured out, something comes out of the blues and hits you hard and you almost get crushed. Just when I was beginning to enjoy the long hours of working at M&N pharmaceutical company, my boss brought his cousin from the village to take my place. Where does that leave me? My initial state. Jobless! Time flies! It was 6 months ago when I got the job and I was thinking God was finally beginning to like me, now I have to start hunting for a new job. Since the son-of-a-bitch handed that stupid letter to me saying I have been relieved of my duties, I have been taking a high dosage of dope. Reality sucks! Who wouldn't want to escape? I mean no matter how hard you try to fix things, you end up where you started. Nonye broke up with her boyfriend last month, so I moved back into her house after promising to contribute to the house rent. The rent would soon be due, how am I to keep my promise without a job? ...

"Hello Ebiere, Imade is very sick. You need to come over." Mama sounded hysterical on the phone like she has been crying. "I am on my way to Koku General Hospital, please come fast." This definitely had to be the devil. Not today for Christ's sake. Not on the day I had to resume at my new workplace. "Mama, I just got this job and I am to resume today, so I can't come now. I'll be there as soon as I close." Mama did not bother to hide her disapproval. "Your daughter is very sick and all you can think of is a job that you and I know you will only keep for two weeks. Sometimes, I wonder if they didn't switch my daughter with someone else at the hospital. You are nothing like me." She hung up immediately after saying those words. Mama's words hit me hard as I dressed up for work. It hurt so much because she was right. I couldn't keep a job and I was nothing like her. I need this job and Mama knows how much I need t...

I could not believe what was happening. "Are you asking me to move out of your house? I asked Nonye looking dismayed. Nonye has been my best friend for years now. I first met her when I was working in a factory as a production manager, she was the admin officer.  " I am so sorry Ebiere, but my boyfriend has some issues with his apartment and he would be moving In next week. This was really happening. I have just been kicked out by my best friend. Where would I go to? Moving back to mama's house was not an option. Well, thank God she even gave me one week to figure things out. The next morning, I woke up early and had my bath. I dressed up quickly in one of my nicest outfits, a smart-looking shirt dress, applied nude lipstick, and styled my hair nicely. When I finished, I looked into the mirror and loved how smart I looked. I picked up my dusty files and sorted out some documents. In no time, I was out of the house in search of a job. First, I went to the cyber cafe to pho...

"Mama, I did not come home this time to fight. I came to tell you something important. I am pregnant." Yes, I finally said the words. Mama looked like she would pass out. Her face was very white. I was so scared. What if she drops dead? I had aborted two pregnancies before this one. Akhere wanted me to keep the pregnancy against my wish. Mama has always been against premarital sex and having children out of wedlock. I knew she would disapprove. When I moved out, I told mama that I was staying with a female friend whose place was not far from my workplace to beat Lagos traffic. She did not know her daughter was living with a man. "Ebiere, you are pregnant? For who? Ah! Ebiere. You have brought shame to me. What will church people say? Your father was a church elder before he died, now look at how his daughter turned out. Ebiere why? Ebiereeeeeeee!." Mama was crying hysterically.  "Mama, I am so sorry, I did not mean to bring shame to your name. Since...

1. They say destiny is in your hands, what about those whose hands have been amputated? 2. I think more than I talk. I write more than I talk. 3. Creative stories never leave people's memories. How and why do you tell your story? 4. Not long from now, they will hear your story, so make sure you tell it with grace. 5. On some days, prayer seems useless, but I pray anyway. God's word seems hopeless, but I hope anyway. A miracle seems impossible, but I believe anyway. Faith over feelings! 6. Stumble on my writings, read. Tell me what you think, for my words are a reflection of myself. 7. When I am gone past this phase, I will wave goodbye without even looking back. 8. At my age, I still keep a journal. Call me old-fashioned. I call it owning and preserving my story. 9. When I am quiet, I am not quiet. There's usually an ongoing discussion in my head. 10. Wear black lipstick instead of red, wear the boot instead of heels, wear the hat instead of some fancy scarf. Al...

"Ebiere, I love you but I can't do this anymore. You need to face this drug addiction issue. You are losing yourself." Akhere was the only man I had ever really loved. He is Imade's father. I met him on the bus on my way home after I had completed my NYSC scheme. Akhere was quite influential and had used his influence in getting me a job as the production manager of a massive soap factory. We moved in together a year after we met and two years later, my baby girl came. The problem started after Imade was born. No one prepared me for the depression that comes after childbirth. I hated my body and soon, I started taking more doses. All I wanted was to be in a perfect world and only my dope could take me there. Although Akhere used to smoke cigarettes, he never did dope and he was unhappy with the way I was ignoring our beautiful baby. When he started complaining, I tried church. Maybe God would see that in my heart I hated dope and I tried my best but I just...